As we knew it would, the England excuse machine is working overtime. Was the much criticised ‘Jabulani’ ball responsible for Robert Greens catastrophic error against the Yanks? Was it the altitude? Was it not having Rio Ferdinand – the most intrinsic part of England’s squad, they’d have you believe – in front of him? I have narrowed it down to the two most feasible reasons for the howler. Could it be that David Cameron pressured Green, from a political standpoint, into levelling the scores as somewhat of an apology for BP covering America’s Gulf of Mexico coastline in oil? Maybe? Or could it actually be that Robert Green is shit?
It is clear to everyone bar Fabio Capello that Green isn’t anywhere near good enough to be England’s number one man between the sticks. That honour belongs to a 39-year old man who sports a novelty ‘scouse’ wig (which is ironic as his time on Merseyside was tainted with his own bout of Robert Green-itis).
So, England were held to a 1-1 draw against the US of A. Not exactly world beating form. But, what does go in their favour is the faltering start of every other ‘big gun’ with exception of the Germans, who saw off the 10-man Aussies with typical ruthless efficiency. Star man of the opening round of games was Werder Bremens Mesut Ozil, who, with Turkish parentage, probably wouldn’t have been Hitler’s first choice to represent the Germans, but is doing a sterling job for current Reichstag, Joachim Low.
European champions Spain, who before their Euro 2008 victory were tagged as ‘chokers’ bit off more than they could chew by naming a team without Torres or Fabregas, and promptly asphyxiated against Switzerland, who, as the ‘Special One’ would say, parked a bus infront of their goal. Switzerland even started the match with Phillipe Senderos at the heart of their defence – all in all making it embarrassing for the ‘kings of Europe’. France – who have a manager in Raymond Domenech, who picks his side by any other possible means other than common sense, left Malouda and Henry out of a side picked by the ‘stars’ and struggled to a 0-0 stalemate with Uruguay. I think not even Russell Grant would have left those two out, especially if it meant Sidney Govou starting.
Tournament favourites Brazil just scraped past a battling North Korea, who put on a brave display that would make leader Kim Jong Il, Kim Jong Happy. Portugal held on for a 0-0 draw with a Drogba-less Ivory Coast, Argentina did just enough to see of Nigeria 1-0, despite Lionel Messi, the worlds best player, not hitting the target after more shots than a Cumbrian taxi-driver. And World Champions Italy were pegged back to a one-all draw against Paraguay. Italy were rather lucky to grab a share of the spoils – it was only after the Paraguay keeper did his best (and worst) Superman impression and gifted the Italians an equaliser.
It’s left the race for the World Cup wide open. Obviously, there is still more to go – a long way – but nobody really has set the World on fire in the opening round of games. I expect to see more from Argentina, I hope the Germans (my pre-tournament pick) can maintain the momentum against Serbia, mainly because Ghana can finish second in the group and knock out England in the second round. That is, of course, if England qualify. Algeria won’t roll over and I can’t see the England side gelling. After the USA game a few players, Frank Lampard in particular looked very downhearted. Almost like he received a phone call from the Mrs saying “hello love, you’re mate John Terry popped round for you while you were out……..”
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